Because God Has a Sense of Humor
by lightblue-Nymphadora
Summary: Harry's second child goes to Hogwarts. Who Albus makes as a best friend just proves that God, too, has a sense of humor.
1. Chapter 1

**_LbN: You remember when Dan Radcliffe and Tom Felton were small and cute, rather than legal and hot? Well, I had a dream with them at that age acting this out...couldn't help myself, had to write it :D. _**

**Because God Has a Sense of Humor**

"So why didn't you stay at Hogwarts with your brother?"

"B'cause I wouldn't have really been with him. Different houses, you know. Plus, my sister's probably lonely at home with just our boring parents…"

The blond grinned and bent down to tie his laces as the train came to a halt.

Albus looked out of the train window to where all of the families were waiting. He turned back to his friend, grabbing his backpack.

"I see them! Let's go."

"Hold a minute, Sev," Scorpius said, tying the laces on his boots. "Alright," he stood up, "I'm ready."

Both eleven year olds grabbed their things and walked out to their parents. Lily was jumping up and down, waving. Their mothers were talking animatedly, while their dads stood poker stiff next to each other. When they saw their sons however, both men smiled brightly and waved. After hugging their parents (and Albus hugging his sister), they handed over their luggage and let their dads get on with loading it onto the trolleys. All of them set off towards the barrier and the entrance to King's Cross. Albus and Scorpius fell behind as the adults talked, though not far enough behind as to not be able to eavesdrop…

"…of all the boys in the school, why did mine have to go and pick yours as a best friend…"

"Because God has a sense of humor. Besides, you were all keen to be my friend when we first got to Hogwarts. I guess your kid is a lot less of a git than you were…"

"And yours must be a lot less of a prat…"

With a smile, Scorpius put an arm on Albus's shoulder to hold him back a little so they could talk.

"I don't think our dads like each other very much," Albus grinned.

"You think?" Scorpius laughed, then turned serious. "I think it has something to do with Granddad."

"Come on, slow coach!" Ginny called from ahead of them, taking Lily's hand.

They got to the parking lot, where Draco and Harry began loading the boys' bags into their respective cars. On the sidewalk, Albus and Scorpius were rummaging through their backpacks.

"What're you two doing?" Harry asked.

The boys stood up, each with a wrapped present in his hands, which they swapped.

"And don't open it till Christmas Sev!" Scorpius glared playfully as he walked to his family's car.

"You either Scorp!" Albus called, getting into the car behind his mum. "I'll write!"

"Okay!"

Once he was in and they were on their way back to Grimmauld place, Harry smiled into the rearview mirror at his son.

"So," he said, "it's your turn."

"What?" Albus asked, bewildered.

"I've told you all about how Ron and I got to be friends, and Hermione. It's your turn, how'd you and Scorpius meet? And why does he call you 'Sev'?" Harry added with a curious look.

With a smile, Albus looked out the window and remembered his first night at Hogwarts…

* * *

"Albus Potter!" Professor Brinson called.

Albus walked shakily to the front of the group, and then up the steps that led to the Sorting Hat. He heard his brother whistle and his nerves doubled. Sitting on the stool, his heart hammered and his palms sweated.

_Another Potter?_ he heard in his head, _You're a bit different than your brother, aren't you?_

**NO!** Albus thought with all his might, **Please just put me in Gryffindor.**

_But why? You really aren't a Gryffindor._

**What? I'm brave! **the boy thought indignantly.

_I didn't say you weren't; I said you were not a Gryffindor. There are different types of bravery, my boy. You'll learn that in,_

"SLYTHERIN!" the hat called.

Albus looked miserably at his brother's astonished face, before walking over and sitting at the Slytherin table. He had knew this was coming; that's why he'd been so upset at James earlier that day. Normally, he ignored his brother, or kicked him; this time was different. He wanted to be a Gryffindor, but he deep down he knew that he wasn't. That in mind, he took a look down the table at his classmates; they didn't seem too horrible. The blonde boy opposite him gave him a comforting grin as Mason Richards was sorted into Hufflepuff. Albus returned the smile and sat back to watch the rest of the sorting.

Finally, after Andrea Zankman became a Ravenclaw, Headmaster Tannus rose and said,

"Let the feast begin!"

Platters of every kind of food imaginable appeared in front the students. Albus speared a potato and a small steak.

"So you're a Potter?" the boy in front of him said.

"Yeah," Albus nodded.

"I'm Scorpius. Malfoy," he added.

"Nice to meet you."

"You too."

Their prefect, Gainsly, whistled down the able at them. Most of the first years had sat in a lump at the end of the table. He began telling them, lecturing them actually, on how they were to uphold the honor of their house and everything else.

Albus's mind began to wander during the second sentence. He flicked a piece of potato and looked up when Scorpius flicked it back with a grin. Before either of them knew what was happening, they were playing potato football across the table. That was until dessert appeared. Then they both dug into cake and ice cream, still ignoring Gainsly.

About forty-five minutes later, they were standing in front of a stretch of wall, decorated only by a suit of armor at the beginning of the hallway.

"Emerald!" Gainsly said. They entered the common room, and he pointed out where they would be sleeping.

Albus and Scorpius made their way, with three other boys (Simon, Maxwell, and Oliver) to their room. As the boys unpacked, they began talking about their families.

"I'm half 'n half," Maxwell told them. "Never would've thought I'd make it in here."

"It's changed a lot," Simon shrugged. "I've got three older brothers and two of them were in here. The other was in Ravenclaw."

"Hey Scorpius?" Oliver said curiously, "Your last name's Malfoy, right?"

"Yeah," Scorpius said, a bit nervously.

"Wasn't your grandfather a Death Eater?"

The room got quiet. Albus saw the pale boy blush a bit and run a hand through his hair.

"Uh, yeah; I mean…I think so," he said quietly. "I don't really know that much about it. Him and Dad don't get on very well, and neither of them will talk about it…"

"Yeah, but you must know something about it," Maxwell prompted.

"He shouldn't," Albus said, coming to the other boy's defense. "If his parents don't talk to him about it, then it's probably just…you know, a not so good family past. It's not like _he's_ a Death Eater."

The other boys made quiet agreements and went about getting ready for bed.

"Thanks," Scorpius muttered quietly.

"No problem," Albus smiled, dropping his Transfiguration book. Scorpius picked it up.

"Albus S. Potter," he said, reading the name aloud before handing it back to Albus. "What's the S stand for?"

"Severus."

There was a pause.

"Albus Severus Potter?" Scorpius asked.

"Yeah," Albus nodded. "What's your middle name?"

"…Balthazar…"

It was a moment like no other; as if the two boys were brought together in understanding of the annoyance at their parents'…er…creativity. They stood looking at each other for a moment before Scorpius spoke.

"So…mind if I call you Sev?" he asked. "I don't much like Al, but Sev sounds cool."

"'s fine," Albus smiled. "So I guess I'll call you…er…" he looked at the blonde quizzically for a second. "You know, you don't really have a good stand in. I'll just call you Scorp."

"I suppose," Scorpius shrugged. "Night Sev."

"Night Scorp. Night guys!"

"G'night!"

* * *

"So, you know, we just kind of called each other that from then on," Albus shrugged.

"Brought together by your fathers' stubbornness," Ginny grinned. Harry stuck his tongue out at her.

"Where were you when he named him?" Lily laughed, coming to her father's defense.

"Heavily medicated," Ginny said, "Albus was a heavy baby. I got name you though, Lily Nymphadora Potter! And your dad's promised that I get to name this baby too."

Both kids looked up.

"What??" Albus cried.

"You're having another baby?" Lily asked happily.

"Yep. We told your brother in a letter yesterday, but he promised he wouldn't tell," Harry smiled.

"It's these fertile Weasley hips," Ginny smiled back at her children.

"I did _not_ need to hear that," Albus said, hoping Scorpius was having a better time than this. At least one of them wouldn't be emotionally scarred when they got back from their break…

**_LbN: Hope you liked it! Ginny's just as bad as Harry, right? We'll check in on Scorpius later...:D_**


	2. Chapter 2

**_LbN: Here's chapter two! Happy reading!_**

**Sense of Humor**

"So," Draco said, smiling at his son, "You made friends with little Potter."

"Yeah," Scorpius nodded.

"Why did the two of you start hanging out?"

Scorpius, the less talkative of the two friends, managed to convey what Albus had taken fifteen minutes to tell his father, in one sentence.

"We found out that both our fathers were crazy."

His mother began to laugh. Draco grinned at his son as they got out of the car.

"What are you talking about? I'm perfectly sane, thank you."

"So how do you explain my name?"

"Family tradition. The children have to be embarrassed by their names."

Scorpius laughed and opened the door to the house. He scooped up his puppy, Archimedes, and turned when his dad called him.

"How're your marks?" Draco asked.

"Good. I'm top of our year in Transfiguration. I'm doing well in all the rest."

"That's great!" his mum kissed his forehead.

"Come sit down," Draco waved them to the couch and summoned pumpkin juice and glasses from the kitchen. "How are you liking your other classes?"

"They're all pretty good," Scorpius said thoughtfully. "Well," he added, "All except Charms."

"What's wrong with Charms?" his mum asked.

"Don't think Professor Morgan likes Sev and me that much."

"Why do you think that?"

Scorpius grinned and scratched Archimedes behind the ears. He blushed slightly and began to tell his parents about their first Charms lessons; and the homework…

* * *

"Who'd like to try the spell for us? Ah, young master Potter! Give it a whirl," Professor Morgan said.

Albus grinned at Scorpius and raised his wand.

"Wingardium Leviosa!"

The feather wiggled a bit. Albus blushed as people behind him sniggered.

"Wingardium Leviosa!" he said again. This time feather hovered a few inches off of the table. Albus sat back down with a smug grin.

The rest of the class passed uneventfully, each of the students getting no farther than what Albus had done. Professor Morgan assigned them each homework, to practice the levitating spell for next class. As they gathered up their things, Scorpius signaled to Albus to wait.

"What's up Scorp?"

"Let's ask Morgan if we can use this room to practice."

"Good idea."

"Professor," Scorpius began, "Would it be alright if we practiced in here tonight?"

"Of course boys! It'll be open after dinner if you want to come in then."

"Thanks Professor!" both of them said, before exiting the classroom.

That night at dinner, Scorpius and Albus asked the other three boys in their year if they wanted to join them.

"Sure," Maxwell said, chewing a carrot. "Though, I could think of better ways to spend my Tuesday nights than doing homework…"

"Like what?" Oliver grinned. "It's a Tuesday night and we're first years. There's nothing to do."

"Not true," Albus and Scorpius said in unison.

"We could explore a little bit," Simon shrugged.

"Let's get the practice done tonight," Scorpius said, "Just so we won't be in a mad panic tomorrow night."

"Oh!" Albus said. "I just had an idea."

He ate the rest of his stew in one gulp, like a shot, and ran from the table.

"Any idea what it was?" Simon asked.

"No," the other three said together.

Thirty minutes later, they had finished dinner, gotten their things from the common room and were entering the Charms room. Albus was already there, tacking parchment up to the walls. There were small cans on the ground, along with brushes.

"Are we painting?" Oliver asked.

"Yeah," Albus smiled. "I bullied James into letting me have his art set so we could practice."

"Wingardium Leviosa!" Oliver said. He waved his wand and the paintbrush hovered above the green paint, and made it halfway to the paper before falling on the floor. The others laughed and began to take turns painting. At the end of the hour, all five boys had the charm down perfectly. Very little paint was on the papers, but a lot had landed in various places in the classroom. A streak of purple decorated the window, from one of the times Albus had missed. Green and blue speckles adorned the chairs, and there was a ton of red on the ceiling.

"We are in so much trouble," Scorpius said.

"No we're not," Albus shook his head. "Teddy taught James a cleaning charm. Let's go up to Gryffindor and get him. He'll help."

Scorpius and Albus bolted from the room. Up fifteen flights of stairs, because they missed the floor and had to figure out how to get back to it. They had only been at Hogwarts for two days and they hated the stairs already. Finally, they made it to the Fat Lady.

"What are two Slytherins doing trying to get into Gryffindor?"

"Marmalade!" Albus panted.

With an indignant look at the pair of them, she swung open and they climbed into the common room. There were about ten Gryffindors in there, James among them, and they all stared at the paint covered boys.

"James," Albus panted. "Need…your help."

"What's up Al?" James asked.

"Made…mess," Scorpius supplied, since Albus was still gasping for breath.

James rolled his eyes.

"Let's go," he said.

With his help, they made it back to the Charms classroom in two minutes. It was too late. Professor Morgan glared at the three boys as they entered.

"Well, I see you've been practicing," he said.

"Charm's 'Scorgify'. You're on your own," James muttered to the two first years. He turned and bolted from the room.

The room was clean already, except for the purple streak on the window. Albus blushed as he saw it.

"I'll clean it off," Professor Morgan said, waving his wand and cleaning the boys' clothes. "But the five of you have detention. This Friday. You're dismissed."

All five of them ran from the room and back to the Slytherin dorm…

* * *

"So what did your detention end up being?" Draco asked, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes.

"We had to rewrite the cards in the Charms section of the library. You know, the ones that tell you where all the different books are. He thinks we're troublemakers now."

Draco laughed and stood up.

"Come on," he said, "let's take your stuff upstairs. We're going to see Grandmum and Granddad tomorrow, so get some rest."

"Ah, do I have to?" Scorpius asked. "Granddad hates me…"

"He does not," Draco said unconvincingly.

"I hope Sev's having a better time," he muttered.

That night, Sev's owl flew into his window and dropped a letter in front of him. He ripped it open and read:

_**Hey Scorp!**_

_**Mum just told us she's having another kid. I'm scarred for life from the way she told me. Pray you stay an only child. You don't want to have that conversation with your parents…Have a good break!**_

_**Sev**_

Scorpius shook his head. Their parents were definitely out to kill them through continuous embarrassment.

**_LbN: Hope you liked it! Drop me a review and let me know! Oh, and a new poll's up for which story I'm doing next._**


End file.
